Q: What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
A: Lean Beef

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?
A: Ground Beef

Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: It was the chicken's day off.

Q: A totally black cow was standing in the middle of the road. A man was cruising around a corner with no headlights on, no dome light, no lights on at all. He slams on the brakes at just the right time to miss the cow. How did the guy see the cow?
A: It was daytime.

Q: What day do cows dread?
A: MOO-nday

Q: What does a cow clean her kitchen with?
A: MOOp and Glow

Q: What does a cow get paid for her labor?
A: MOOney

Q: Where does a cow go on vacation?
A: MOOntana or COWifornia

Q: What is a cow's favorite rock band?
A: MOOtley Crue

Q: What type of car does an average cow drive?
A: A MOOdel T or a MOOstang

Q: What kind of car does a rich cow drive?
A: a Cattelac.

Q: Who is a cow's favorite former Vice President?
A: Walter MOOndale

Q: What is a cow's favorite school subject?
A: COWculus

Q: How does a cow keep track of her appointments?
A: She checks her COWander

Q: What is an unusually stupid cow called?
A: A MOOron.

Q: Where do the cows go on Saturday night?
A: To the MOOvies.

Q: Where do cows go when they get married?
A: On a honeyMOOn

Q: What do you call a cow that works for a gardener?
A: a lawn MOOer

Q: Why do cows wear bells?
A: Because their horns don't work.

Q: What do you get when you have a cow and a duck?
A: Milk and Quackers

Q: How did the cowboy count his cows?
A: With a COWculator.

Q: What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?
A: a Milk Dud

Q: What kind of milk comes from a forgetful cow?
A: Milk of Amnesia

Q: Do you know why the cow jumped over the moon?
A: The farmer had cold hands.

Q: What do you call a cow that just had a calf?
A: De-CALF-enated.

Q: What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A: a COW-askai MOO-torcycle.

Q: What did they play at the cow's birthday?
A: MOO-sical chairs.

Q: Why did the farmer give his cow a pogo stick?
A: He wanted a milk shake.

Q: How do you get a cow to stop charging?
A: Take away its credit card.

Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting Cow.
Interrupting C...
MOO!

Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, silly, Cows go MOOO!

Two cows were standing in a field. The first says, 'Moooo'. The second says, 'Hey! I was just about to say the same thing.'