Where is God?
There were two young scouts that were twins
and they did not quite get the Scout Oath. They stole things, swore, and
generally got themselves into trouble around town when they were not on scout
outings.
Their mother, realizing she needed help, asked the Scoutmaster to
talk with them. He agreed and decided to see them one at a time and hopefully
get them to understand that they needed to change. He thought he would first get
them to see that their actions were sinful.
When the first scout arrived, he
was sat in a chair and the Scoutmaster, who was a big man with a pretty loud
voice asked, 'Where is God?' He wanted to get the scout to understand that God
is everywhere.
The scout's mouth dropped open, but he said nothing. So, the
scoutmaster repeated more sternly, 'Where is God?'
Again, the scout just sat
and stared dumbly at the Scoutmaster so he raised his voice and asked a third
time, 'WHERE IS GOD?'
The little scout screamed, jumped up, ran out the door,
all the way home, into his room, dove into his closet, and hid under his dirty
clothes. And, that's where his brother found him.
He asked, 'What
happened?'
The first scout replied, 'Man, we are in BIG trouble! God is
missing and they think WE took him!'
- Shrek: Urrrrrp - What chicken?
- George Bush: To face a kinder, gentler thousand points
of headlights
- Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down
from the trees
- Bob Dylan: How many roads must one chicken cross?
- Robert Frost: To cross the road less traveled by
- Gilligan: The traffic started getting rough; the
chicken had to cross. If not for the plumage of its peerless tail the chicken
would be lost, the chicken would be lost!
- Martin Luther King : It had a dream
- James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone
before
- Sir Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at
rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road
- Mr. Scott: 'Cos ma wee transporter beam was na
functioning properly. Ah canna work miracles, Captain!
- Mae West: I invited it to come up and see me sometime
- George Washington: Actually it crossed the Delaware
with me back in 1776
- Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road
or the road crossed
the chicken depends upon your frame of reference
- Darth Vader: Because it could not resist the power of
the Dark Side
- Lord Baden-Powell: To earn a Road Crossing merit badge
- Colonel Sanders: I missed
one?
Why did the chicken run across
the road?
There was a car coming.
Why did the chicken cross the road
halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
Why did the rubber
chicken cross the road?
She wanted to stretch her legs.
Why did the
chicken cross the road?
To prove to the possum it could actually be done!
Why did the chicken cross the road twice?
Because it was a
double-crosser
Why did the Roman chicken cross?
She was afraid
someone would caesar!
How did the wealthy rubber chicken cross the road?
In her Cadillac stretch limo.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
Why did the chicken scientist cross the
road?
To invent the other side.
Why did the chicken lawyer cross the
road?
To corrupt the other side.
Why did the chicken IRS
representative cross the road?
To bankrupt the other side.
Why did
the chicken lawyer cross the road?
To get to the car accident on the other
side.
Why did chicken Jim Morrison cross the road?
To break on
through to the other side
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Don't ask
me, ask the chicken!
Why did the sheep cross the road?
To get to the
Baa Baa Shop for a haircut
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to
the udder side
Why did the fish cross the road?
To get to its school
Why did the fish cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide!
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the
guts
Why did the horse cross the road?
To reach his Nay-borhood.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
To prove he wasn't a chicken
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the barking lot
Why did the chicken stop crossing the road?
It got tired of
everyone making so many jokes!