You Might Be A Scouter If . . .
 
most of your wardrobe is olive drab or khaki.
you keep a bucket of water by your side while cooking dinner.
you carry your own toilet paper wherever you go.
you always read by a flashlight.
you hoard tent stakes.
you keep a lantern hanging outside your bathroom door.
you cannot walk by a piece of trash without picking it up.
you carry a dufflebag size first-aid kit in your car.
you always have hat hair.
you continue to wear it until it stands on its own.
your pots and pans are all black.
you roast a mini-marshmallow on a paper clip over a candle; then put it on a golden graham with one square of chocolate, just to get the flavor.
you always cook enough food for twelve.
you always have a cup hooked to your belt.
all your dishes have little pieces of egg stuck on them.
you open letters with a pocket knife.
you know 365 one pot meals.
if your "microwave" is a box wrapped in foil.
you buy your shampoo in little tiny bottles.
you have the urge to help little old ladies . . . whether they want it or not.
everything in your cupboard says "Instant, just add water".
you really do use those emergency sewing kits.
you see a pile of rocks and immediately put them in a circle.
you know 100 uses for a bandana.
you wear thongs in the shower.
you have a collection of used candles and dryer lint.
your favorite cologne is "Deep Woods Off!".
you can't remember which hand to shake with in the office on Monday morning.
you have the end of every rope at home backspliced or whipped.
you correct someone who says "Gee, I used to be an Eagle Scout/Girl Scout", and then get him/her to volunteer in your Troop.
you always have a boy/girl registration and adult leader application in your bag. And you have to keep replacing them.
you say "signs up" in a business meeting to quiet everyone down.
you find yourself discussing the relative merits of internal vs. external frame packs on a date.
your closets are full and they don't contain clothes, but craft stuff.
you have a special woven belt loop cup holder.
you know more than two ways to light a fire.
your gourmet meal consists of cornbread, "Spam," and bug-juice.
your front door has a zipper instead of a deadbolt.
your last birthday cake was prepared and served in a Dutch Oven.
you're the only one on your block with a fire pit in your back yard.
your "family vacation" includes 30 kids your wife/husband doesn't know.
you've ever heard the phrase, "Trust me, it's only an hour and a half a week!!"
you have holes in the pockets of your jeans from carrying a pocket knife.
you begin to think half frozen french fries don't taste all that bad.
you keep a bucket of water by your side while cooking dinner.
you're always counting how many matches you have left.
you tie up your little brother, and he can't get loose.
you know all the words to Little Bunny Foo-Foo, but can't remember your anniversary.
your pots and pans are all black.
pie iron pizzas is the best meal you've had all week.
you always have a cup hooked to your belt.
all your dishes have little pieces of egg stuck on them.
you own little bits of every color felt.
you eat ants on a log and like it.
you wear bread bags on your feet.
you know 365 one pot meals.
when opening large gifts you survey the box wondering if you have a piece of foil large enough to cover it.
you order pizzas 14 at a time.
you have to go to the restroom and you start looking for a buddy.
you go to someone's house for dinner, don't like the food, and ask if they have peant butter and jelly.
you tie your shoe and check the handbook to se if it can go toward earning a badge.
you miss "cargo pockets."
you really love your self-inflating sleep pad.
You have your own desk & filing cabinet just for scout related paperwork.
If your calendar is full of meetings that you never forget, but can't remember to send a birthday card to your brother-in-law on time.
If you have the local BSA office on speed dial.
People don't recognize you when you're not in uniform.
if you catch yourself singing "God Bless My Underwear" when it's time to sing "God Bless America". . . . . . you might be a scout.
if your gourmet meal consists of cornbread, "Spam," and bug-juice. .
if your idea of a burned-out lightbulb is a broken mantle. . .
if your front door has a zipper instead of a deadbolt. . .
if your last birthday cake was prepared and served in a Dutch Oven. . .
if you've ever heard the phrase, "Trust me, it's only an hour a week!!". . .
if you're the only one on your block with a fire pit in your backyard. . .
if your "family vacation" includes 30 kids your wife/husband doesn't know. . .
You take the family on vacation, And you stop at the Scout office to pick-up a tour permit.
You pack to go on a weekend trip to visit friends And you take your backpack instead of your suitcase.
You pack your suitcase(backpack) for the weekend And roll your clothes up instead of using hangers.
You are in a large group of people and someone tries to talk And you hold up the Scout sign to get them to quiet down.
You go on a family walk around the block And you take a map and a compass along.
You go to a public campground with the family And you rope off your site and put up the patrol flag.
Instead of building a fence around the yard with nails and wood, You lash it with poles and rope.
Instead of teaching your 1 yr. old son his ABC’s You teach him the Scout Law and the Scout Oath
Instead of a Flower garden in the middle of the backyard You have a fire pit, with logs and stumps to sit on
You pack your kids lunch box with things like foil packs, dutch oven cobbler and bug juice.
Derby Day has nothing to do with Kentucky or horses. It's all about a 5 oz block of wood and a ramp.
You ask off work for B-P's birthday.
And the number one way you can tell if you are a Scouter is: You take your own bag of Trails End, Butter Microwave Popcorn to the movies and ask the guy behind the counter to put it in the microwave for 2m, 33s exactly.